The Choice is Yours

I went to bed the other night about as “tri” psyched up as I could be. Sunday was Ironman Wisconsin and several of my Triscoop friends were racing. From 6:30pm until about 9:30, I was glued to my computer screen. I had the live feed from the Ironman finish line in one window and the athlete tracker on the Ironman website open in another to keep tabs on my friends. On the top was the Triscoop transition area chat room with up to 28 people chatting about all things triathlon. Watching the finish line feed gets me so emotional and choked up. Just listening to the announcer say “Bob, from Texas, you are an Ironman!” brings a lump into my throat. Then to also have a virtual Ironman party in the chat room just left me feeling so motivated and committed to my goal of racing IMLP with the intent of qualifying for Kona. I was triathlon dreaming all night long.

I had planned a longish bike ride the next morning of 100 minutes before work. I only work 5 minutes from my house so if I leave for my ride by 6:00am, I have plenty of time to fit in up to 2 hours of training and still make it back, take my daughter to school, and get myself to work at a reasonable time. I set my alarm for 5:45.

I woke before the alarm and looked at the glowing red numbers on my alarm clock; 5:27. The first thought that went through my head was, “I could get up now, sneak out without the alarm waking everyone else up, and have a little breakfast before my ride.” That was immediately followed by, “It’s so dark out still, I’m really comfortable.” And so began this well scripted fight between Jen the over achiever and Jen the under achiever.

OA: “I have to get up.”

UA: “I could really use a few more hours sleep.”

OA: “Carolynn will be annoyed if I don’t get up and the alarm goes off.”

UA: “I could tell her that I don’t feel well.”

OA: “I couldn’t live with that lie all day, it would kill me.”

UA: “It’s raining out.”

Here I must of dozed back off because when I looked back at the clock it was 5:39.

OA: “Turn off the alarm and get up.”

UA: “I’ll turn off the alarm so it won’t wake Carolynn”

I turned off the alarm. I must have dozed again, because the clock now read 5:48

OA: “This is your last chance get up or fall back to sleep.”

I wish I could say that my mind was completely united in the pursuit of becoming a champion, but as evidenced above, that’s not the case. As I thought about writing down this internal conversation, I began to wonder if perhaps, I lacked the natural mental drive of a champion. I couldn’t imagine Lance Armstrong or Paula Newbury-Frasier having that kind of inner dialogue. Is this evidence that I don’t have what it takes to commit to this dream? After all, if I struggle with getting out of bed, what am I going to do when I’m faced with a dozen climbs during Lake Placid?

Faced with a dozen climbs, I’d do what I always do, take one at a time, gut it out, and think about the downhill on the other side. You can’t decide to ride all of them at once, you just choose to as they present themselves. I guess in the same way, you can just choose to be a champion all at once; you have to choose as opportunities present themselves. There are hundreds of ways those opportunities can show up; during training, when eating, when thinking, when trying to get out of bed. Each decision will either lead you closer to your goal or take you farther away. Becoming a champion is a long series of choices you make every day.

So, back to my inner conversation:

OA: “This is your last chance get up or fall back to sleep.”

I swung my legs off the bed and stepped on the floor and thought to myself. “That’s one step closer to Kona.”

757 days to go.